One day God appeared to Hepzibah as she was doing her wash. “Hepzibah, it’s time to die. I want to welcome you into the kingdom, to give you the pearl of great price, to shower on you the treasures of heaven, to give you unending happiness.” But when Hepzibah heard that she got worried. Was she really ready to meet St. Peter? If she had a little more time maybe she could get some things in order which would look good on her resume. God was only a little surprised when she answered, “How about coming back a week from Tuesday.”
The person of faith always lives in the present tense. The past can drag us down. “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would never have died.” We are bothered by past events of pain and sorrow as Martha and Mary were; that can cause us to miss the presence of God. If I had not been hurt like that… If I had not done such a terrible thing… If only it had not happened that way… But God does not live in the past.
By the same token, we can be distracted by the future. “I know he will rise again in the resurrection on the last day.” Like Martha we can know future prospects are assured but still not find that helping us today. We should be wary about using the future tense. I know God will not let evil triumph in the end, will make all things work together for good then. But how does that help me now? God does not even live in the future.
God lives in the present. To live in faith is to use the present tense. “I am the resurrection and the life,” says Jesus. Again and again in St. John’s gospel Jesus says, “I am;” not “I was” or “I will be.” To have faith in Jesus is to hear Jesus say “I am” to us, in our here and now situation. Yes, it is good to know all that God has done for us in creating the world, in sending a redeemer, in providing the word of life. And yes, it is good to know all that God will do for us — that all will be well, all manner of things will be well. But sometimes when you’re facing death like Martha and Mary, when you’re heavily burdened by difficulty, when you’re filled with doubt and confusion, those things God has done or will do, don’t offer much consolation. We need to hear Jesus say “I am,” to know that even in our present we are being cared for, we are being provided for. The scriptures point out what a present tense faith looks like.
One thing the story of Lazarus makes clear is that a present tense faith does not suggest all pain and sorrow can be avoided. Even Jesus, the one who says “I am the resurrection and the life” is troubled in spirit, is moved by the deepest emotions. Jesus weeps. When we have faith we are not spared the suffering which seems woven into the human fabric. Even faith-filled people can be troubled, be emotional, be moved to tears. What a present tense faith does indicate is that our pains and sorrows have a larger meaning. Jesus says, “This sickness is not to end in death; rather it is for God’s glory.” Now obviously the sickness of Lazarus does end in death, as Jesus knew. But he also knew that death does not have the last word. All things, even the harsh realities, are caught up in God’s glory. We can be troubled in spirit — but confident that love is stronger than death. We can be moved by the deepest emotions — and trust that the hand of God is at work. We can weep — and still be filled with hope. Present tense faith implies that nothing we are feeling is too much when placed in the larger context of the glory at God at work in the world.
We are tempted to reduce faith to a list of commandments to keep, of masses to attend, of actions to perform. But faith is really about God’s promise, not our actions. Jesus says the prayer of present tense faith when he says, “Father, I thank you for having heard me. I know that you always hear me.” God’s promise to be our life, to fill us with love, to send us joy makes it possible to live in the present, with all its ups and downs. We can join our prayer to Jesus in giving thanks for what is; no circumstance is as powerful as God’s promise.
And a present tense faith is about personal relationship. “Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus very much.” Even the bystanders could observe, “See how much he loved him!” Jesus, God from God, Light from Light, true God from true God, loved people, loved the men and women whom he met in life. The particular present of Jesus was where he expressed love. It is easy to pine for some memory of the past or to yearn for some ideal in the future. Only when we love those given in our present situation will we know what faith is like. For God has faith in us now, and loves us in a present tense way. The personal nature of our response in faith requires that we find in our present the ability to relate in love today.
As we move to the end of Lent let’s live the present moment. The saints are famous for saying that if they knew they were going to die that day they would do exactly what they were already doing. Can we say the same? For your prayer these next two weeks hear Jesus say “I am” to you when you’re at school, at work, at home. Faith teaches us that right today the spirit of God is at work bringing about a new life if we let it. To live in faith is to let that spirit of God fill our present.