Probably each of us has a memory similar to this one: little Johnny is sitting at the supper table and both of his parents are getting rather exasperated with him. It seems he won’t eat his vegetables. Now all parents know that part of their job is to do what’s right for their child even if it makes everyone miserable. Since pleas and cajoling haven’t worked it’s time for direct commands. “We’re not leaving this table until you eat that squash, Johnny, and you’re going to like it.” As he lifts up the fork with this funny greenish-yellowish thing on it (stone cold by now since the war of wills has been going on for some time) he mutters under his breath, “You might be able to make me eat it but you can’t make me like it.”
How curious it is that Jesus gives us a command to love. I give you a new commandment: Love one another. An invitation to love, sure; a suggestion to love, why not? a summoning to love, okay. But a command? How can loving another human being be commanded if you can’t even make someone like Brussel sprouts? It becomes obvious that what Jesus meant by love is not what we ordinarily mean by love. The fact that there is a love commandment implies that love is not something you fall into and out of. Love for Jesus is much more than a matter of the right chemistry. It has more to do with how we act than how we feel. The fact there is a love commandment shows that love for Jesus is not an emotion, second-hand or otherwise. Emotions don’t respond to commands. They come and go willy-nilly. Love for Jesus is a decision. The fact there is a love commandment illustrates that love is more than an affair of the heart. In fact, you probably have to take all the popular songs you’ve ever heard about love and throw them out in order to understand what the Bible means by love. Sometimes we just don’t feel it and wonder if we’re doing right. Jesus’ love is more than a feeling; it involves all that we are.
What are the characteristics of love as Jesus defines it? First, love is now. It is not something elusive, only for the lucky and the strong, but something each one of us share in right at this moment. We can follow the love commandment because we are loved. Jesus doesn’t wait until we are worthy of being loved but loves us today. We’re not lovable because we have our act together but just in being who we are. The book of Revelation says, “God will dwell with them and they shall be his people, and he shall be their God who is always with them.” Once we are in touch with how loved we are always then we will uncover what it means to love another. Second, love is known. It is not felt as a sentimental interior movement but seen as a living example. “This is how all will know you for my disciples: your love for one another.” If we want to know whether we possess love look for examples of love in our actions: kindness, patience, charity. We could have the largest, most active church in Cook County but if we don’t love one another we’re not disciples of Jesus. Is there enough evidence to convict us of loving? Third, love requires being new. It is not just a nice addition to our way of life but a radical re-birth of everything. “I saw new heavens and a new earth. The former heavens and the former earth had passed away… The One who sat on the throne said to me, ‘See, I make all things new!'” To have love is not to have one jewel among many; it is to revalue everything in light of this wonderful new reality. It’s not a half and half proposition but all or nothing.
In contrast to hearts and flowers of popular songs, love can be tough. Anyone who has stayed married for more than the honeymoon, anyone who has raised a child to adulthood can testify to that. Love is costly. Paul and Barnabas talk about the cost of love in the first reading from the Acts of the Apostles. “It is necessary for us to undergo many hardships to enter the kingdom of God.” Since warm feelings and a fluttering heart don’t measure love, what does? Jesus tells us: “As I have loved you, so you also should love one another.” To tell whether we are loving the way we should, we only need to look at the way Jesus loved us. Greater love than this no one has, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. Gospel love, Biblical love, Jesus love is about laying down one’s life. We might not have to do that literally but we have to do it. We have to lay down our lives in forgiveness. We must lay down our lives in compassion. We lay down our lives by not counting the cost. Since God gives to us undeservedly we pass it on.
Love in Jesus’ understanding lives now, is known, makes new. It’s important that we correct the false notions of love we get from song and story so that we can have a true biblical vision of love. But that can sound too much like work. Let’s not forget one vital fact — even though Jesus talks of love as a command it is something wonderful. Love is attractive. Love is delightful. It’s what we were made for. It is wonderful to experience the love God has for us and that is what makes genuine love possible. That is the way of true happiness and peace. A story: Once upon a time there was an old man, very old, like 70, who was digging in his garden. “What are you doing?’ his neighbor asked. “Planting apple trees” was the reply. “Do you expect to eat apples from those trees?” “No, I won’t live long enough for that. But others will. It occurred to me the other day that all my life I have enjoyed apples planted by other people. This is my way of showing them my gratitude.” A bell’s not a bell ’til you ring it A song’s not a song ’til you sing it Love in your heart wasn’t put there to stay Love isn’t love ’til you give it away!”