Our model for forgiveness is Jesus on the cross where he prayed, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”

TWENTY-FOURTH SUNDAY IN ORDINARY TIME – A

Sirach 27:30-28:7

Romans 14:7-9

Matthew 18:21-35

Old timers among us will remember the first question and answer in the Baltimore Catechism. “Who made you? God made me.” There is a presumption in that answer that we know what we’re talking about when we say, “God made me.” Who is this God? One thing was sure – the God who made the universe was all-powerful, could do anything. Which is why there would be playground arguments at St. Rose of Lima School along the lines of: Well, if God is all-powerful, can God make a rock so big that even God couldn’t lift it? File it under profound playground questions. More seriously, the Bible insists that we don’t control God, that God is always the actor, always the one who makes things happen – except in one circumstance. Have you ever noticed how we say in the Lord’s Prayer: “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” This is the lone place where the Bible suggests we can inhibit God’s ability to act – our forgiving others, or lack thereof, impacts directly God’s ability to forgive us. Forgiveness is a really big deal.

But forgiving is hard. It’s hard to forgive because we don’t want to be hurt again. There is something to forgive because someone has said something or done something which has harmed us. If we forgive them we become vulnerable to having another wound. Best to keep one’s guard up. Similarly, it’s hard to forgive because it can feel like we’re giving the one who hurt us a free pass. There should be some consequences for the harm they inflicted and forgiveness seems to short circuit that process. It’s hard to forgive because we feel diminished or belittled by another. When someone takes advantage of us or uses us, we want them to understand that we are worth more than the shoddy way we have been treated. And it’s hard to forgive because a harm done should be paid for in some way. A little pay back seems appropriate. A casual “I’m sorry” doesn’t seem to carry enough weight when we have been wounded. So the call of Jesus to become people who forgive – seventy-seven times – seems like a real stretch. And yet, according to the prayer, our forgiving is what frees up God’s forgiving.

Writing this sermon on 9/11 colors my thinking about forgiveness. I lived in Jersey City twenty-five years ago and the twin towers were right out my back window. When they came down I was angry, I wanted someone to pay for the harm done to the country. Forgiveness, HA, hit back and hit hard. That’ll show ‘em. We did hit them back and yet here we are all these years later still fighting that same fight. As the milk man in the Fiddler on the Roof observed: an eye and an eye and a tooth for a tooth and pretty soon the whole world will be blind and toothless. There must be a better way for us to resolve our differences than to continue to batter one another. How should Jesus’ call to forgiveness shape our responses to hurt?

In the parable Jesus brings the story of a king down to the personal level. The king was settling accounts and it had a positive outcome. Then the servant tried to settle accounts – then things broke down, the forgiveness failed. According to the parable the fellow servants found his behavior “deeply disturbing” but I think it is understandable. He had narrowly escaped a dreadful punishment, so he wanted to make sure that never happened to him again. The servant determined that he was going to fix it, that nothing like that would ever threaten him again and he didn’t care who he had to run over to ensure his safety. Forgiving his fellow servant could impact his future prospects, so too bad for you.

Church, I have no doubt that every one of us has been hurt or wounded in some way. Anytime you have two people rubbing up against each other you have the giving and taking of wounds. Things from our past, present conflicts, interactions between husbands and wives, family members, fellow parishioners, all require that we be willing to forgive. Given that it’s hard to forgive, given the depth of the wound, how can we heed the command of Jesus and start the countdown for the seventy-seven times we are called to forgive? The key can be found in the epistle for today. St. Paul says, “If we live, we live for the Lord.” It is hard to forgive because we feel our worth, our value, our dignity, our integrity has been cut to the quick. How can we forgive when it is our very essence which is at stake! But the Apostle insists that we don’t have to guard our worth, value, dignity, integrity. We live for the Lord who loves us and accepts us as we are. Our essence is found in the life we have received from Christ which no one or nothing can take away. The servant in the parable felt like he had to take care of himself. Christ is taking care of us since all that we are is a gift from God. We can forgive others because they don’t really touch the inner reality that makes us who we are.

Our model for forgiveness is Jesus on the cross. There he prayed, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.” Jesus understood who he was and whose he was. Even in the midst of his suffering Jesus knew that his persecutors could not touch the infinite value he possessed as Son of God. That is our story as well. Yes, forgiveness is difficult but like Jesus our identity as a beloved child of God is intact. We forgive others in the hope that one day they too will realize their own identity as precious, made in the very image of God.