THE HOLY FAMILY of JESUS, MARY, and JOSEPH
Sirach 3:2-6,12-14
Colossians 3:12-21
Matthew 2:13-15,19-23
There is an old Polish proverb: le plus ca change, le plus le meme chose. The more things change, the more they remain the same. Because of the times we live in we can easily relate to the fact that government policy would so threaten a family that they would feel the need to flee from their native land to a place of safety. They are willing to undertake a difficult and dangerous journey because the prospect of staying is worse. The family hopes that going where they feel safe will be worth the trouble of finding a new place to live, a way to earn an income, and learning a new language. Joseph and Mary made that difficult decision two thousand years ago escaping their homeland for a foreign country. Here in Chicago, here at St. James, we encounter people who share that story. The Holy Family went to Egypt because it was beyond the reach of a hostile government. They hoped for a warm welcome but mostly they just needed to survive. This story, repeated again and again over the centuries (including my grandparents and, perhaps, many of yours as well), shows something of the resilience of human beings. Being a family is so important that it seems worth almost any risk. There is a special cruelty, therefore, when the receiving country splits up a family, divides children from their parents. We know from the story of the Bible that being an immigrant family is fraught with problems and dangers. On this Sunday when we remember the Holy Family we need to recall that every family is holy because it shares a blessing from God. How we treat the immigrant families of today gives us the opportunity to atone for the harsh treatment that Joseph, Mary and Jesus experienced twenty centuries ago.
What is it about families that make immigrants dare so much for them? The memory of Jesus growing up in a family remarkably like our own says that God lives in our homes just as the son of God lived in Joseph and Mary’s. We all know what it is like to live in a family. The very best and the very worst things that happen to us happen in the context of family. No joy is quite as powerful as that of feeling the bonds of love that unite a family. No pain is quite as terrible as that which family members can inflict upon one another. How happy we are when some blessing happens to a family member. How sad we are when tragedy is not stalking the anonymous stranger but afflicting someone whom we love. The scripture assures us that Jesus was like us in all things but sin so he must have had the same experiences with his family that we have with ours. It is a powerful testimony to the commitment that God has to the world that Jesus lived so completely a human life that he was nurtured in the midst of a family.
The fact that we are celebrating this day as a commemoration of the Holy Family is a reminder that family more than a social or economic way of structuring society. Family has a spiritual and religious dimension as well. The spiritual life in the family is not a given, does not happen automatically. We have to work at it. The Bible provides some guidance on what that looks like. We have to “put on” a life of virtue as St. Paul says in his letter to the Colossians: First of all, “be thankful.” St. Paul says it three times in the passage: “sing songs with gratitude.” “Whatever you do given thanks to God the Father.” There is so much we have to be grateful for in our families. Certainly they are not perfect, but give thanks for who they are. There is a Polish custom we used to practice in my home growing up of sharing the “oplatki.” This was a wafer of unleavened bread, something like the communion wafer, that we would pass around the table. Everyone would break off a piece and say what they were giving thanks for as we ended the year. Your family might have a similar custom or might want to establish a new custom. As the year is ending spend some time with your family and give thanks for blessings received – and just for the fact that you have these people woven into your life to help you to know who you are.
Second, St. Paul also stresses three times the importance of forgiveness if we are to become a holy family, “bearing with one another and forgiving one another, if one has a grievance against another; forgive as the Lord has forgiven you.” All of which is to say, whenever you have two people rubbing against each other you have the giving and the taking of wounds. Those wounds can sit and fester and drive us apart. OR, we can heed the admonition of the Apostle and be willing to give and receive forgiveness. No doubt the teen-aged Jesus himself had to say he was sorry when he distressed his parents so much when he visited the elders in the temple. Forgiveness greases the wheel of family life.
Finally, St. Paul says “over all these things put on love, that is the bond of perfection.” As anyone who has ever lived in a family can testify love is more than a feeling. At times the people that you love are driving your crazy. Loving them is reflected in what we do for one another more than having warm and fuzzy feelings toward each other. While giving the occasional hug and kiss shows love so does changing the diaper, going to work each day, taking out the trash. Love is an action verb. St. John says in his epistle “Let us love each other in deed and truth and not merely talk about it.” So gratitude, forgiveness and loving actions – that’s how the Bible suggests every family can become a holy family.
