What does it mean to be a “holy family?” A theologian, Paul Tillich, once said: “This holiness is not their moral or cognitive or even religious quality but their power of pointing beyond themselves.” To be a holy family means to point beyond oneself, to learn it’s not about me. Being a holy family does not mean being a perfect family but one that learns to see things from the perspective of others. How very human of Mary to have to learn that her son was not an extension of herself. “Son, why have you done this to us?” To which Jesus answered, it’s not about you. Even in the Holy Family there was the giving and the taking of wounds. Jesus, Joseph and Mary learned to think more about the other members in the family, and not focus on themselves.
Nor was the Holy Family closed in on itself. The Bible talks about Jesus extended family, mentioning brothers and sisters. My guess is that Mary’s was the cool house, where cousins and friends and everyone in the neighborhood used to hang out. The only way to be a holy family is by extending your reach and widening your circle of care. Nazareth therefore was the school where Jesus learned to let the love and compassion he received at home to ripple out to impact his relatives, all those he knew, his people, and, eventually, the whole world.
