Forgiving is one of the demands of the Christian life. Jesus stressed forgiveness in his preaching, even weaving the theme into the Lord’s prayer. But forgiving is not easy. Once I met with a victim of sexual abuse. The first words out of his mouth, “Don’t expect me to forgive.” As we talked about his situation, he feared that if he forgave it somehow gave the perpetrator a “pass,” it lessened the severity of the harm he inflicted. On further reflection the victim realized that by not forgiving the perpetrator still had a hold on him. He could not assume his own power. Jesus asks us to forgive as God does, not because the offender deserves it but because we are empowered by God’s grace.
