We all want to be good and to do what’s right. Those of us who gather as church today desire to obey the scripture which says: “observe carefully the statutes and decrees which I am teaching you.” For believers, doing God’s will is what matters. We read our bibles, listen to the preachers, follow the advice of our directors so that we will be better able to observe the commands of God. Yet after all these efforts on our part, after trying hard to act on the word we have received, too frequently we have a vague feeling of dissatisfaction. The question which arises: if I’m doing all these holy things how come I’m not holy? Our instinct is we must not be doing it correctly. If saying the rosary is good, I’ll say two rosaries. If a visit to church is beneficial, I’ll stop by three times. If I could just learn how to pray better then I’d be holy. But despite our increased efforts we’re still as unholy as ever. Jesus in Mark’s gospel today tells us why: it’s not what we do on the outside that matters as much as what is happening on the inside. The Pharisees were insistent that if you did the right things you would be right. Jesus says, what you do flows from who you are. It’s not a changed behavior which will make us holy but a changed heart. Acquiring this new heart is what is known in the Bible as conversion, a change of heart. But conversion is not another thing I must do. In the Bible conversion is what God does in us. The path of conversion is not centered so much on changing how I act as it is a re-focusing on who God is. The scriptural instinct is that what leads to holiness is not doing the right things but seeing the holy one face to face. Conversion comes not when I act better but when I recognize better who God truly is.
God is the one who gives “every worthwhile gift, every genuine benefit” according to the letter of James. We tend to forget this most basic of spiritual truths. We’re inclined (maybe especially as Americans) to take care of ourselves. “There’s no such thing as a free lunch” goes our popular wisdom. Raising yourself by your bootstraps, Horatio Alger style, is our cultural ideal. When we translate that into the spiritual life we can forget that God wants to give us gifts, that we don’t have to make our own way. “Bootstrap” thinking, forgetting that the important things are all gifts, causes us to insist on our plan, on our agenda. The scriptures suggests that if we focus on God as the gift-giver we won’t need to insist on our own way; we will be able to trust in the genuine benefits that come from above. So a real conversion happens in giving up self-reliance and realizing our complete dependence on God. If we let God give the gift he wants to give we will act aright.
The divine attribute which guides proper action stems from the reason God gives commandments: so that we “may live.” The ways of God are not arbitrary rules laid down but invitations to be alive. God did not sit in heaven and say, “should stealing be a sin or not?” No, the statutes and decrees of God are there as guidelines for life, for truly living. Jesus denounced the hypocrisy he saw around him because it kept people from truly living. Even though the Pharisees did all the right things they never came alive. A machine could be programmed to follow the rules. Genesis tells that when the Adam was to come alive God had to breathe some of his own life, the divine essence, into him. To do what is right we must first awaken our consciousness to the profound union we have with God, the one who gives life.
Scripture says, the way to follow the commandments more closely is not so much learning better behaviors as it is focusing more clearly on God. God is the one who gives gifts freely; God is closer to us than we are to ourselves; God is with us so that we may truly be alive. But this focus on God must flow from a genuine kind of prayer. The great danger in mental prayer is that we will begin to “think” about God, to think about our life. Prayer must “be” in God, must be living life. I’d like to make a concrete prayer suggestion which at one and the same time keeps the focus on God yet also invites us into life. Always keep your prayer sincere. Often we are not really ourselves at prayer to our detriment. For example, we’ve all be taught that we’re supposed to love God so when we plop down on our knees our training kicks in and we make acts of love to God. Well, quite frankly, sometimes we don’t feel this great overflow of love. Sometimes we’re angry how things turned out. Sometimes we’re bored with the whole effort. Sometimes we don’t want to surrender our agenda. If that’s how you feel, don’t deny it. Be sincere at prayer. Don’t confess your love of God unless you feel it. Make your prayer a request instead for the kind of desire you know is called for. In a strange way, by saying exactly what is going on inside — welcome and unwelcome — we are actually expressing our dependence on God even for our motives. A sincere prayer makes doing the right thing possible. God is close to us: God does call us to be really alive. Our prayer is not seeking insights into God out there but transformation into God’s image right here. Perhaps the Little Flower said it best: “God has no need of our works; He has need of our love.”
